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Tuesday, September 15, 2015

My Reaction to "My Big Fat Fabulous Life"

Last night I watched a show called "My Big Fat Fabulous Life" and before I knew it I was holding back tears.  I found someone else who has experienced the same problems as me. 

Now I'm going to be blunt, most people would think, oh, you found someone who understands what it's like to be fat, but no, that's not it. I found a person and a show that is speaking to the medical problem called Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome that I have with all it's complications AND a show speaking to the last totally acceptable group to be discriminatory and totally ugly towards. 

Saturday, June 27, 2015

What Do You Do When You Lose Everything?

I've been asking myself this question each and every day for the last 19 days.  Whether my family thinks about it, this is the question in the back of their minds too.  Loss is a devastating thing and no matter how many times you go through loss it's just never the same.  So I guess you can just sit back, be a fly on the wall, as I curl up and ask this question out loud.  I may sometimes talk to you, sometimes to myself and sometimes to God as I find my answers.    

On June 8th, 19 days ago, my family lost our home to a fire.  It totally destroyed what I have always called the "boys room" even though two of the three "boys" in that room are grown men.  (23 and 25) All of their possessions, clothes, books, trinkets, valuables... all gone.... turned into ash.  The girls room blackened severely with soot.  Things close to the ceiling were burned, things on shelves were melted and everything else permeated with soot and the stench of smoke.  Their dance clothes destroyed.  The smell of burnt wood, plastic and vinyl permeates everything.  In the living room old VHS tapes are warped and/or melted from the heat as are DVDs.  The TV is destroyed.  It's frame is warped and the front is torn and melted.  In my bedroom the heat actually evaporated water out of the water bed and damaged (hopefully didn't destroy) the dresser that used to belong to my husband's grandmother.  Everything is blackened throughout as if you walked into utter darkness.  The only light coming in is what you bring with you or the light coming in through opened or broken windows.  

It is a devastating thing to lose everything, to lose your home and belongings.  I have to remember, it happens to people other than us probably just about everyday... so what do you do when you lose everything???

First off, I need to take a breath.  It'll be alright.  God has never left us.  He's never abandoned us and he won't abandon us now.  It's time to remind myself of all that God has done, of his faithfulness. It's time to encourage myself in the Lord.

I need to give myself and others grace.  Losing everything is like having a death in the family.  We all deal with it, we all grieve that death differently and not on anyone else's timetable.  Even as God, through people, bless us with better than we lost, it doesn't stop the grieving.  It doesn't change the fact that what we had was suddenly and irrevocably taken from us.  I need to remember that others don't know how we are feeling at any given time and they are only trying to help even if they say the "wrong" thing at the "wrong time."  I need to give them grace.

Friday, May 22, 2015

Thy Kingdom Come ?

Have you ever really thought about what you're praying when you say the Lord's Prayer?

We say ...

"Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven..."
  .... but what does that really mean?

Are we really asking for God to bring a kingdom, His kingdom down onto the earth?  That seems so abstract as to not really have a meaning that we can pin down.  We know it's a good thing to pray but do we really understand what we're asking for?

Today I've been studying the word "kingdom."  I think we're trying to understand a Biblical word from 2,000 years ago with a modern definition.  As such we really don't get it.  

In the Old and New Testaments, the word kingdom, when it relates to the kingdom of God, is not talking about a place or a realm.  It's talking about the rule and authority of God.  So basically we're asking God to rule and reign in His authority on earth as he does in heaven.  Now think about it, doesn't that make more sense???

Thursday, January 29, 2015

So You Got Me Teaching Dance : Part One

Praise dance is about expression. 

The best way to express yourself is to find a song that truly touches you ...then dance from your heart.

That sounds simple doesn't it ?  

Only it's not that simple 
especially when you are trying to teach kids.

Kids these days are getting mixed messages all the time even in the church.  They see mom and dad and know that they ain't perfect and they see the "fakes" at church.  Parent's tell kids one thing, live another and threaten the kids if they don't keep up the charade.

And people in the church wonder what is wrong with kids... 

I'll tell you what's wrong..... WE ARE !!!

We want our kids to be in a relationship with God, we demand they act right and we threaten them with HELL ... all the while our relationship with God ain't all that good, we don't act right and we seem to have no fear of going to HELL ourselves.  And we think they are going to listen???

You may ask, what does all this have to do with praise dance ???  


Kids praise dance is not about kids dancing 
and parents being proud. 

Praise dance comes from praise in a persons heart for the God their praise is glorifying. 

And praise dance from children is no different.  

So, why am I speaking so strongly? ... Because the majority of kids that I have dealt with are kids from the streets with street smarts. They have learned to look straight through the "masks" we try to wear and get to the true you.  They don't trust easy and they despise "fake" Christianity.  Don't be mistaken though, the kids in the church can see straight through too but they are more likely to not speak about it.  

So how do we bring the two together?  Let me answer that in the next section.

So, Lord, you've got me teaching praise dance, now what?  

Tuesday, January 27, 2015

BUT GOD ...I Can't Dance !!!

What do you do when God has called you to teach kids ...

how to praise dance in the church...


 Well..... it's like this....ummmm...Ok God....

Really, I just have to laugh about the whole thing.  

     About 5 years ago, we had just left a big church that the kids had basically spent their life in up to that point.  Spiritually, they were disconnecting from everything, "church" and "God", so we had to do something.  

     We left and found a small church that seemed to fit.  It went through some changes while we were there like starting out as a small church in its own building to merging with another church. A year later the two churches split and it finally ended up as a church meeting in a hotel meeting room looking for a more permanent building.  
     As it went through its changes and variations we ended up at one point with a teen led dance group.  They did a lot of really good dances but the work to get a dance ready for every Sunday was grueling.  By the time we got to that last transformation of the church, the dance team was defunct as it's teen leader and their family were no longer there.

     Both my daughters had fallen in love with praise dance by this time and had come out of their shells. Praise dance is something that they had never had a chance to do before.  In the church they had just come from, praise dance was something basically only done by those who were taking ballet and they were not ballet girls. My youngest son was just beginning to get into dubstepping and now they had no outlet.

     I could see the desire in them to dance but no one felt let to step up.  My heart was being torn.  These kids were putting aside cartoons, tv time, video games and such to dance and work on choreography. I wanted God to do something!  

That's when I realized that it was strong on my heart because God was tugging on me to step up.  
BUT GOD... I Can't Dance !!!   
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