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Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Are You Frustrated With Dreaming?

     For a very long time there were so many crazy dreams in my head.  I wanted to be a doctor, an astronaut, a missionary, a singer, an actress, even a princess.  A firefighter might be nice but I also dreamed of being in a circus.  There were so many things that were  wrapped up in me for ages. But I found, as I hit my early teens that many of those early dreams began to be “peeled away” as only childish thinking and at my core what I’ve really dreamed of was singing and ministering to others.  As I grew up, got married and started a family I added writing to that list of core dreams. These were the things I really truly wanted to do and accomplish.  You see, I’d be one of those people going around giving concerts, and signing books…. but don’t leave off the ministry.  God would use me as the scripture says in Mark 16:17-18

“Believers will be given the power to perform miracles: they will drive out demons in my name; they will speak in strange tongues;  if they pick up snakes or drink any poison, they will not be harmed; they will place their hands on sick people, and these will get well."

     My assumptions were that by now I would have made a CD with many original songs by ME, be in full time ministry and have already written and published a book … or two.

     Of course, over the years I’ve done many things that might help those dreams along.  As a teenager I entered a contest for a recording contract to make a CD but we were all beat out by my church’s praise and worship leader who could sing and play the guitar.  As to the writing, I finally sat down and started on two separate manuscripts for two separate books over 6 or 7 years ago but I could only get so far.  

For the first time ever I experienced writers block.  

     I was totally stuck and unable to complete either one.  The passion for what I was writing and the desire to finish was there and yet my mind was a total blank when I sat down to write.  So I sat them figuratively on the shelf and left them to collect dust.  Ministry?  I'm not someone that anyone would come to for ministry.  I’d hoped to attend Bible College at some time but life got in my way…. in a MAJOR way.  I’m a layman, a volunteer… I have no credentials and can you really call what I do ministry?

Talk about frustration.  God, why do I feel like a failure?  Will I never fulfill any of my dreams?
Am I just doomed to live a life dreaming with no accomplishments to speak of?

Now, don’t think I’ve gone crazy….. but ….. at this point…. God spoke to me.  He brought back to my remembrance my whole life.

You Have Three Choices

     She laid there uncertain and afraid on the operating table as she was being prepped for an emergency cesarean.  The room was buzzing with activity but it might as well have been utter silence when she heard the doctor say;

“You have three choices:

Number one, you can just let the baby die. 

Number two, you can let the nurse anesthetist put you under but by doing so you are greatly risking your own life.  You may die. 

Number three, you can wait for the anesthesiologist to get here so he can safely put you under and then maybe we can save your baby.”

Why did she have to answer this question? Why couldn’t someone else make this decision?  Her husband was in her room, unaware that she was being forced to make a life or death decision for herself and her unborn child.  Why couldn’t they ask him? 

“GOD, what do I do !”         This was the cry of her heart.

Choice one was out of the picture.  Whatever was going on didn't matter, it wasn't going to be OK to just lay there and wait and let the baby die.

Choice two … she wanted them to save the baby but could she really risk having the nurse put her under?  They said she would be greatly risking her life… she could really die!  She had three kids under the age of four at home waiting for mommy to come home.   What if she didn't make it through?  What if she did die? Her husband would be left to raise three young children and possibly a newborn baby on his own.  Could she really do that to him?  But wasn't the babies life worth the risk? 

“I don’t want to die but I want you to save my baby !”

Monday, May 16, 2011


"In this era of wartime, 
shrapnel is very likely the single best man killer."

     Bombs blow up and shrapnel is expelled.  They blow and the explosion creates even more shrapnel from the destruction in the environment than what was actually packaged in the bomb.  No one is immune to a bombs effect.  Once shrapnel has entered the body a physician is necessary.  They x-ray so they can know exactly where all the shrapnel is this way they know what can safely be removed. What they also look at is where any shrapnel may be.  It may be to close to blood vessels, to organs or to the spinal cord and must be left alone until it comes closer to the surface.

This is but a little picture of each and everyone of us.  

     We have lived and grown up in a "war zone," maybe not physically having to deal with suicide bombers and the like but a war zone none the less.  Others have come into our lives and set off bombs for their own pleasure or to feed their own "issues" or anger. Others, devoid of any hope, have detonated their own lives in our presence and we've been left to attempt to survive.  The closer we were to the explosions the more shrapnel we have but God is our physician. He's done our x-rays.  He knows where the mental, emotional, and spiritual shrapnel is.  When you gave him permission, he removed as much of the shrapnel from you as he could without paralyzing or killing you.... but there is more inside. 

     There are problems, issues, hurts and hang-ups you have.  Each one of them is a piece of shrapnel that was hurled into your life. God knows where every piece is and where they need to "move" to before He can go back in and remove a little bit more.  Don't let the fact that you seem to keep dealing with the same  things over and over again keep you from going back to the Great Physician.  It's time we understand the difference between a miracle and a healing. 

Miracles are God instantaneously intervening in human affairs. 

     For example, a drunk man asking God into his heart and being made instantly sober, a cocaine addict asking God to remove his addiction and instantly losing any desire for drugs.  

     Healing, on the other hand, takes time. The area of injury can be painful or sore, it can turn all sorts of colors, sometimes it can swell with infection. When you're dealing with injury, you need "medical attention." You will not get the medical attention you need if you run away from the very people that God has placed in your life to help you, to intercede for you and to bring you to him.  

     Let God, the Great Physician, see you.  Let Him set the right "team" around you.  The healing process can be painful and you will have many more "surgeries" to come as more "shrapnel" comes to the surface... but

Friday, May 6, 2011

Let Me Bring You Glory

     It’s so easy to get caught up in the worries of life, all the day to day mundane and not really “see” the glory of God.  Our lives become so complicated with worries and fears, deadlines and expectations, as well as our own goals and plans.  So when we hear “stop and smell the roses” we either see it as a luxury we really don’t have or a lazy man’s excuse to do nothing.

     And yet, are we truly walking out wisdom, and are we truly walking out stewardship when we can’t stop our “busy” lives long enough to really recognize how Awesome The Almighty God is?

     Lately my eyes have been opening to the awesomeness of God.  Honestly, I think my statement is crazy….. and yet….. it’s true.  Our family has had such an extremely hard time for the last several years.  Each time we think we’ve hit bottom and it can’t get any worse… it has.  So for me it’s been a struggle much of the time to “see” Him the way I should.  He’s done so very much for my family and I.  He’s watched over us and kept us safe.  He’s provided when we were in need, he’s ministered to us when we didn’t have the strength to ask for help.  And yet, it’s as if we get amnesia, we forget all he’s done in the past.  It’s crazy!
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