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Tuesday, December 31, 2013

2013 & the Changes It Brought

2013 started off just like any other year for me.  

     We were struggling to make ends meet and unsure how the year would turn out.  My husband, who has worked in the construction industry for as long as I've known him, was being used by his employer.  I really shouldn't explain it that way because he really was a sub-contractor not an employee but I don't know how else to put it right now.  No matter how hard he tried to get another company to use him, he could find no one else but the builder he worked for.  The company kept dropping the price on what they would pay for the different kinds of work done till it seemed that my husband was working for just enough money to get to the next job.  Bills were stacking up and frustration was mounting.

     When people look at us, it sounds crazy.  Most people wouldn't think from looking at us that things were rough.  Most people assume we live an easy life but it was so bad that we were back on food stamps yet again.  Now there is nothing wrong with being in need and having to go on food stamps however, there is a stigma attached to food stamps.  Most people don't even think about their attitude it just comes out.  Unless you're dressed in raggedy clothes, when you swipe that EBT card, people look at you like you're cheap skates just trying to scam the system not honest folk having a hard time making ends meet.

     Then things started turning around.  My closest friend did something for me that most people would never dream to do.  She went online and registered me for classes with Liberty University....AND THEN SHE TOLD ME WHAT SHE HAD DONE!  Crazy !!!! Right?  Funny things is it was exactly what I needed.  It was exactly what I wanted.  I honestly had to thank her.  She was also my husbands accountant so she had all the information to quickly do my financial aid once I knew about it.  So I went back to college on top of continuing to home-school my youngest son.  Not long after I went back to school my husband dropped off his resume at a store that does patio doors, windows and rooms while driving between construction sites. Within days he was called in to meet with the boss and he became a service technician for them.  Things were looking good.  The pressure was lifting and his income was enough to severely reduce any food stamps we were getting so we ask them to stop the food stamps.  That felt good.  That felt really good.

     Mid-year we changed churches and I found the place I was supposed to be.  I began to grow spiritually like I needed to grow and before too long I started teaching the kids and the E.W. Dance Team was created. Through out all of this I was working with my friend (the accountant) to get our business in an office.  Finally, around August we found the right place and began to prepare the space for our office needs.  We worked through till the middle of November before we were able to have our Grand Opening/Ribbon Cutting Ceremony.  Because we are newly opened and are slowly building our clientele, we are making no money yet.  (We are building the business with our first goal to get to our break even point.  Then we can finally get paid  A week later my youngest son (Joel,) my husband and myself were in Atlanta preparing for open heart surgery.  My son had been in need of surgery to replace his aortic valve and ascending aorta and we jumped on the chance to have it done before Thanksgiving when the opportunity rose.  The surgery went well but was 10 hours long and he didn't recover as quickly from the surgery as they expected him too.  Two days later he needed a transfusion and we've been dealing with issues from the transfusion and slow recovery since then.  As we came into December he was running fevers, I was working my schoolwork and trying to take care of business while my husband worked.  By mid-December my schoolwork ended and I got a little break, Joel stopped running fevers and his recovery sped up some.  In the business, we started moving on several clients work to prepare them for the new year.  THEN...

The week before Christmas, my husband got laid off.

     So here we are getting ready to end 2013 and walk into 2014 and there is no income.  It's bad enough right now as this year ends that I need to go and reapply for food stamps.  2013 began with at least an income coming in although it was not good enough to meet our needs.  2014 is going to begin with NO income coming in and yet, crazy as it may sound, I feel better off than I did a year ago.  I had no hope as 2012 turned into 2013 but I have hope now... as 2013 turns into 2014.  In 2013 we accomplished so much! Things happened in 2013 that I had wondered when and if they ever would.  2013 changed my life.  No matter how it ends, no matter how we come into 2014 I'm only taking the good forward and believing 2014 can't help but be better.

Happy New Year!

Sunday, August 25, 2013

Just Deal With It

     Lately I've been having memories of painful events and times in my life.  These memories have found their way back into my mind.  I've broken down crying without explanation just straight out of the blue.  These memories are ones that I didn't get or didn't take the time to deal with.  I pressed them down, corked them and set them aside. The only problem is that when I did that I set myself up for a time like this.  A time when there is nothing I can do to stop these memories from coming up.  I can't just push them down anymore because they won't go away.  

     In the midst of this (with some help) I've come to the realization that it's time to just deal with it. The emotions and the hurt that I've tried to hide from has found me and it's time for a confrontation.  Over time, as we don't deal with our hurts and hangups, we set up a domino effect and the effect grows. All it takes for us to blow up or break down is for the right trigger to be tapped.  

Monday, July 8, 2013

Forgiven Little or Forgiven Much?

     If you have been in the church long enough you've probably heard the story of the alabaster box.  If you don't remember the alabaster box you may remember the woman who came into the house where Jesus was and washed his feet with her tears and dried them with her hair.  It comes out of Luke chapter 7.  Once she had dried his feet with her hair she anointed his feet.  This was done through breaking her alabaster box full of perfume over his feet. Well, I didn't grow up hearing about the alabaster box or the woman but I did hear the scriptures that came after it.  It was a parable that Jesus told the Pharisee.    

Voice From The End of Town
Luke 7:40-47

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Taking In the View and Finding Insights Along the Way

     I've been home from my roadtrip to Pennsylvania for about a little over a week now.  I'm back, and things have still not slowed down!  In fact, things have gotten more hectic!  I just started week seven in my English and Health classes and also started week one in my New Testament Survey and Evangelism classes.  If I didn't just take time away from something else to sit here and write right now you'd still be waiting for my next post.  

     The trip I took was a LONG road trip to Pennsylvania.  This was a business trip for me but you won't hear anything about that here. I would like to share with you 10 insights I gathered along the way.

INSIGHT 1 - This is an example of the beautiful vista's we had a chance to watch pass by.  The mountains slowly swelling on both sides of us like waves on an ocean.  It was magnificent!  How many times have you taken a road trip and really looked at the wonder of God's creation?  Not concentrated so much on the road and the drivers but God's workmanship.  It's so easy to get caught up in the need for speed and jockeying for position on the road.  Getting to our destination becomes more important than the journey.  So if the journey isn't important then how we conduct the journey isn't important either, right?  But God cares!  Ultimately we are all on a journey towards a face to face meeting with God Almighty.  

HE is definitely interested in us getting to that destination 
but HOW we get there, our journey 
will have so very much to say about where our final destination is.  

Monday, May 20, 2013

Reaching for a Dream (and changing my heart!)

     I have been absent from my blog for many weeks now but my mind and heart have always been here.  I've been in a constant state of asking God to help me prepare a new post directed solely at wives and women who think they may one day marry.  It will be a counter-part to the post Do You Have A Tarnished Crown? which was directly solely at husbands and received so well.  The post has been burning in my heart but I feel it is so vitally important so I refuse to rush it.

     In the meantime I've been reaching for a dream.  Growing up I always wanted to go to Bible College but I "supposedly" wasn't college material.  My parents also were not exactly going to send me.  So I hid that little dream back in the recesses of my heart and went on with life.  Well, 8 weeks ago I started.  I'm currently working towards an AA in Religion and carrying a 4.0 GPA. (sweet! and not easy!)  I don't know how far I want to go with this degree or maybe I should say, I don't know how far beyond an AA I will go at this time.  All I do know is that these last 8 weeks have been amazing.  I've had an opportunity to study the word of God in a way I've always wanted to and the word of God has come so much more alive in me.

     One of the little tidbits that has stuck in my heart for the last few weeks is a reflection back onto God's people (the Israelite's) and their constant failure to hold onto God.  When God brought them out of Egypt it is reflective of God's gift of salvation to us.  The giving of The Law is reflective of God's daily revealing to us of needed changes in our life.  The hardships they dealt with while in the wilderness are indicative of our struggles and the consequences of our disobedience to God.  The trip by the 12 spies into the promised land reveals our fight between faith and doubt.  

Can I really do what God has called me to do?  
Will God really take care of me?

There are always going to be more voices 
telling you the answer is:


You are not called to do that!  
God isn't with you!
You're not anointed!  
What would make you think you were?

Friday, April 5, 2013

Also Be Thankful For Judas

     I know that being thankful for Judas sounds like an oxymoron. Thankful and Judas don't sound like two words that should ever be used in the same sentence.  I understand the feeling and yet I would like you to come with me today and explore some possibilities.

     Judas was one of the twelve disciples.  He was hand picked by Jesus to walk with him and experience Jesus ministry first hand. He was with the other disciples when Jesus gave them power against unclean spirits so that they could cast them out as well as the power to heal all manner of sickness and disease.  However, Judas Iscariot was a thief and the one who carried the money bag which according to John 12:6 he often was stealing from.

     Judas's problem was clearly that he was greedy, he loved money more than Jesus.  He was there when Jesus spoke and taught that no man can serve two masters.  He was there as Jesus explained the two masters as being God and money.  Money sometimes being defined as avarice and avarice being greed.  Though he walked with Jesus and saw all he did he did not let Jesus change his heart.  He stayed true to his greed to the point that the scripture says in Luke 22:3 that Satan entered the heart of Judas.  He then goes on to betray Jesus for 30 pieces of silver.  All of this leads us to have a horrible view of Judas as the betrayer.

     However, Judas was only walking out the prophecies that had been given.  His betrayal of Jesus was in God's sovereign plan. Does that mean that Judas was not responsible for what he did? No, God didn't make him do anything.  It was already in his heart.  His greed overshadowed everything.  He walked with God almighty in the flesh and still chose to not have his heart changed.  But what if Judas had allowed his heart to be changed?  What if he had never betrayed him?  What if he had never sold Jesus out?  Then what?  You see, in the grand scheme of things... Judas had a very important part to play.  His betrayal didn't knock Jesus off the path that had been laid out before the foundation of the world.  No, Judas's betrayal propelled Jesus down the path towards his destiny...even Jesus knew this.  While sitting at the last supper Jesus told Judas "What you are about to do-do it quickly."  Jesus sent him on his way knowing that Judas HAD to betray him into the hands of the chief priests.  Jesus was destined to be falsely accused.  He was destined to be crucified.  Am I trying to say that we should celebrate what Judas did?  No, but maybe he shouldn't be held out as a man to be thought of more vile than any other.  Judas was a man held in the gripe of destiny.  Destined by his own greed to betray the Son of Man into the hands of those who would make sure he was crucified.

     Judas wasn't a man any worse than any man or woman that has ever walked this earth.  He wasn't worse than any of us.  Given the right circumstances and the right temptations -- we have likely ourselves already been Judas in someone else's life.  God wasn't surprised by what Judas did.  And he's not been surprised by what has happened in your life.  God is sovereign   He is in control. When "Judas" comes into your life...forgive him just like you want to be forgiven.  Then, do this one thing, thank God for your Judas .... because he may just keep you on the right path... the path towards God's plan in your life.

Your Judas may just propel YOU into YOUR destiny.  

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Do You Have A Tarnished Crown?

A good wife is a crown to her husband...
Proverbs 12:4(a)

     This scripture verse ends with ..."but a shameful wife is like cancer."  The usual focus of this scripture when referenced is women.  In many sermons and articles this scripture is preached to speak to women about their role in marriage.  It IS important that this be done.  We DO need to understand that how we carry ourselves does not only affect us but it affects everyone in our families especially our husbands.  Our actions, the woman that we are, should not be such that it destroys others, especially our husbands, like a cancer eating away at a persons body.

     But I'm not going to be speaking to this today... instead I would like to focus on the beginning of this scripture...

copyright Voice From The End of Town
A good wife is a crown to her husband...

... And I'd like to focus on husbands today.

What is a crown and what does crowning someone symbolize?

     A crown is a circular ornamental headdress worn as a symbol of authority.  It is usually made of or decorated with precious metals and jewels.  To crown someone is to bestow on them a title, power, authority, and a certain level of dignity, respect and honor.  Men, if you have found a wife then you know according to Proverbs 18:22 that you have found a good thing.  A good and Godly wife will bestow on her husband a title, power, authority and a certain level of dignity, respect and honor.  His title is Head of the Household and spiritual head of the family.  The power she gives him is the power to lead her.  She also gives him the authority to make decisions for her.  He can hold his head high in public because she gives him dignity, respect and honor.

     Women, all I will say to you is Are you truly being this kind of woman?  But as I said before.... I'd like to focus on husbands today.  So lets consider, Are you a Godly husband?  Do you "carry" your crown well or do you have a tarnished crown?  

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

What Kind of Wife Do You Want to Be?

I am currently attending women's marriage classes at my church. I have to tell you that these meetings and the topics have made me really have to think.  We've had questions like :

What is it like to be married to you?


In 30 years, if your husband was speaking at your funeral... 
what would he say about you?
Photo courtesy of Kozzi Inc /

     To be honest, questions like these have shaken me.  They've made me question what kind of wife I REALLY am... not just the wife I think I am.  I've had to open up some closets that I had stuffed and shut years ago.  

     These two questions by themselves are powerful and they should make you take a look at yourself... maybe a look in the mirror you don't want to take right now.  Now there is no condemnation or guilt here.  We have to remember that God's not finished with any of us yet.  This is just an honest look to see if anything needs to be changed.

Monday, February 11, 2013

Come Join In : A Post For Pure Fun

OK.... so..... CELEBRATION ! !!! !! !!!

I just recently passed the mark of having over 5,000 views of my blog since I started it. 
( as of the date of this post it's now over 5,200)

So I thought I'd put something together just for the fun of it.  Below I'm going to list all the states (within the U.S) and all the countries that I know I've been seen from.  I would love to have each of you (when you see this post) no matter where you come from (or how long after it's posted) leave me a comment stating ...
  1. Where you're from (country name is great... if inside U.S. please give the state)
  2. Whether you're on the list or whether you're adding a new country or state name to it

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

It's Not My JOB !

     Over the last 10 to 12 years that I've been raising my children and making them do chores, one of the most annoying things that my kids could ever say to me is...

It's not my job!

     It has driven me crazy!  This shirking of any responsibility unless it has been specifically written and detailed out.  And you see, with 5 kids to raise... I did specifically write it out.  They could go to where the chore cards were and figure out what was expected of them on any given day but I never expected them to think this was ALL that was expected of them.  NO... this was the least!  As a participating part of the team, the team we call our family, everyone needs to pull some weight.  Everyone needs to share in taking care of the needs of the family.  This teaches them more than responsibility, it teaches them to not expect everyone else to do for them and prepares them for life on their own... when everything WILL be their responsibility.  Understand, I love my children but when they leave the nest... I don't really want them coming back asking me to do their laundry because they still don't know how.  Nor do I want them to think mom is going to come to their home or apartment and cook and clean for them.  So, after having spent all the time I've spent working on them being responsible for the chores on their cards... I'm now having to re-teach them... or at least that's how it feels.  Teaching them that they need to go above that card, above what is written.      

     I's just crazy.... how can you see a mess or something that needs to be done and just walk around it expecting someone else to do it?  And yet, the kids aren't the only ones that do it, are they?  No, they aren't! They learn this very well from us.  How many times do we see something that needs to be done but we leave it to someone else to do because...
Image courtesy of Kozzi Inc. /
It's not my job!

Monday, January 21, 2013

Top 5 Most Popular Posts Countdown

#5  Most Popular Post

Well, actually there are two post that currently are tied at #5 with the same amount of views and they are :

  • The Father Effect     -  This post deals with acknowledging the effect that fathers (good, bad & otherwise) have on our lives.  It specifically deals with my relationship with my own father and a conversation I had to have with him to gain healing.
  • Why I Homeschool     -  Gives 29 reasons why I chose to homeschool and continue to homeschool plus a little bit of advice for those new to homeschooling or thinking about it.

Thursday, January 17, 2013

Where's The Culture of Honor?

     About a year or so ago I was hearing a lot of pastor bashing.  It covered the gamut from local pastors to big time TV preachers and such.  I came home one night and because it was bothering me so much I just sat down and wrote to get everything out but I couldn't publish.  My attitude wasn't right.  I was righteously indignant but there was too much anger in it.  The post would have done more harm than good at that time.  I had to go back periodically and make a few changes.  Eventually I just left it alone but now I think is a good time to let it be heard.   But let me forewarn you... what you will read below is probably one of my most forceful posts.  It is not meant to offend anyone but is meant to get across the importance of the subject.


     I've been seeing something that really concerns me.  It's a tendency to take to the air with our opinions and such concerning "Christian Leaders."  Now I don't pretend to have some right or authority to speak to this issue other than the "righteous indignation" that has been set ablaze in my heart.  I know that what I'm about to say is strong and some will be offended but I can't be concerned right now about how others will react to this.  It's about time we bring back a culture of honor.

God's word says "TOUCH NOT MINE ANOINTED !"
     God ain't playing around when he says this.  It isn't up to us to decide whether someone is preaching or teaching under the anointing.  It's not up to us to decide if someone is hearing from God.

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

You Can STILL Do Anything...

pediatric surgery, cardiac surgery, aortic stenosis, aortic insufficiency
2007 heart surgery
My son has a bicuspid aortic valve, mild aortic stenosis, and severe aortic insufficiency.  

Bi-cuspid valve means having only two valvular leaflets.  The aortic valve should have three.

Aortic stenosis means that the aortic valve doesn't open as far as it should therefore it decreases blood flow from the heart.  

Aortic insufficiency means that the aortic valve doesn't close down all the way therefore blood leaks back into the heart.  

The stenosis and insufficiency can cause the pressure in the last chamber of the heart to rise and can cause enlargement of the heart or at least the left ventricle of the heart.  He has both.

Five and a half years ago surgeons tried to repair this valve.

In 2007, not long after my son turned 8, the surgeons felt it was time to attempt to fix his valve.  They went in expecting to repair the valve which they found was much worse than they thought.  It worked..... for the first 24 hours.  But after that it started slipping.  At the end of a weeks time everything was back to the way it was before the surgery.  It didn't work.

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

It's Time to be ME

When I started this blog back in November of 2010 I was so unsatisfied with myself.  My weight has been an issue for me since my last child was born and I've been unhappy with any pictures taken of me since.  So, as I sat there trying to figure out what photo I was going to use for my profile I was at a loss.  That was until I remembered my Glamour Shot photos from 15 years prior.  Now there was some good photos of me.  But for the last two years it's been nagging me that someone would see the photo and believe that I really look like that.  I mean, I did once but it was with the help of a hair stylist, make-up artist, a good wardrobe(that didn't belong to me!) and a great photographer.  I did acknowledge back in February of 2011 in the post A Need to Feel Beautiful that this picture was not a current one of me but I still couldn't bring myself to uploading one.  But this year, 2013, I've said is my year.  I'm stepping out this year already into new ministry, new opportunities and new blessings.  It's time to shed the things that have been holding me back in any way and move forward.  So yesterday I started the process of changing over all my profile pic's on any forum or platform I was on.  I decided that it was time to acknowledge the aging process and that it may be hard to age gracefully but that I 'm going to put my best foot forward in doing so.

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Passing on The Liebster Award

     Several days ago I posted a blog named Words, Agreement & their Power.  In the comment section I was notified that I had been nominated for an award and that I needed to visit this persons blog to receive it.  Well curiosity overcame me and I checked it out. The award is called The Liebster Award.  I did some research.  As it turns out it is a real award.  It's been through several changes since it was started but it is generally the same.  This award is a way for bloggers to give recognition to other bloggers and encourage them to continue blogging.

The blogger that gave me this award is Tasha and her sight is MomNstinks where she blogs about

Thursday, January 3, 2013

Words, Agreement & their Power

     Before the first day of 2013 had slipped away God had already dropped a word for the year in my heart.  It's a word for me, for my friends, for my family and maybe... it's a word for you. 

Watch the words you speak.

     It's a matter of communication.  I know I've blogged on this subject before.  In "Did you hear that?"  I dealt with "Whose responsibility is it to make sure that you the speaker are understood?"  In "What Do You Say on Facebook?"  I dealt with our conversations on public social networks and how you can't take back the words you say.  You can delete them but they have already done their damage and you may never know the true impact of your careless words.  In "Me & My Big Mouth"   I related an event where my communication skills were not really the matter of discussion so much as my heart and my need to humble myself to get help and understanding.  In "Toothpaste Sermon"  I spoke of how ignorance of the pain and injury done by our words is not an excuse and does not remove the responsibility you carry for the harm your words have done.  But today, I need to talk about what you and I speak everyday into our lives and into the lives of others and who we agree with.

     Let me explain something.  The prayer of agreement is a powerful thing.  It means two or more joining together in agreement over anything that they bring before God.  But many people don't understand that agreement in and of itself is a powerful thing and who you agree with matters.  As a society, as a people, even as those called Christians, we have become lax in considering
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