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Wednesday, January 9, 2013

It's Time to be ME

When I started this blog back in November of 2010 I was so unsatisfied with myself.  My weight has been an issue for me since my last child was born and I've been unhappy with any pictures taken of me since.  So, as I sat there trying to figure out what photo I was going to use for my profile I was at a loss.  That was until I remembered my Glamour Shot photos from 15 years prior.  Now there was some good photos of me.  But for the last two years it's been nagging me that someone would see the photo and believe that I really look like that.  I mean, I did once but it was with the help of a hair stylist, make-up artist, a good wardrobe(that didn't belong to me!) and a great photographer.  I did acknowledge back in February of 2011 in the post A Need to Feel Beautiful that this picture was not a current one of me but I still couldn't bring myself to uploading one.  But this year, 2013, I've said is my year.  I'm stepping out this year already into new ministry, new opportunities and new blessings.  It's time to shed the things that have been holding me back in any way and move forward.  So yesterday I started the process of changing over all my profile pic's on any forum or platform I was on.  I decided that it was time to acknowledge the aging process and that it may be hard to age gracefully but that I 'm going to put my best foot forward in doing so.

This process has not been an instant one.  I had to make some choices and it started with taking some new pictures.  So I ask my daughter a few days ago to take some photos of me and handed her my cell phone.  (I don't have the money to have Glamour Shots done again!  Are you kidding me? lol)  So she took me out in our yard and posed me however she saw fit and snapped as many pictures as she felt were needed.  Once we downloaded them onto my computer I started to cropping them.  (I know I'm overweight and so does everyone that knows me well but I didn't care to leave all that in a photo... you gotta be crazy!)  And then I started photo editing.  I can honestly say that all I did was mess with the exposure, contrast, some slight color and vibrancy issues and such.... and of course added a little bit of blur just to take the edges off.  So this is the real me..... with a little bit of gloss..... which every woman needs.

When it comes down to it.  This year is the year I honor the fact that I'm an amazing woman in my own right.  I'm not perfect.  I don't have the body I once had and may not ever have a chance at that body again.  I may not be able to wear the things I used to, or do the things that I used to but I have new privileges and opportunities coming my way each new day.  What is standing before me today was never made available to that old me and that old me is not the one everyone is wanting now.  They want the woman I am today with all my wrinkles, extra weight and wisdom, wit and heart.

If there is anything that you can get out of this I hope it is to accept who you are with all your frailties and  imperfections and to honor the person you've become.   Are you perfect? No but you're also not the person you used to be and that is actually a good thing.  You've learned much and if you've not fought against everything God has brought into your life then you've gained wisdom in the process.  So let that wisdom have it's day because this year is your time to agree with God that you are fearfully and wonderfully made!      

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