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Tuesday, February 19, 2013

What Kind of Wife Do You Want to Be?

I am currently attending women's marriage classes at my church. I have to tell you that these meetings and the topics have made me really have to think.  We've had questions like :

What is it like to be married to you?


In 30 years, if your husband was speaking at your funeral... 
what would he say about you?
Photo courtesy of Kozzi Inc /

     To be honest, questions like these have shaken me.  They've made me question what kind of wife I REALLY am... not just the wife I think I am.  I've had to open up some closets that I had stuffed and shut years ago.  

     These two questions by themselves are powerful and they should make you take a look at yourself... maybe a look in the mirror you don't want to take right now.  Now there is no condemnation or guilt here.  We have to remember that God's not finished with any of us yet.  This is just an honest look to see if anything needs to be changed.

      Part of these classes includes writing a marriage purpose statement.  Some online sites will talk about writing one together, husband and wife but this is one JUST FOR ME.  It's not a list of desires of things I want to happen or ways I want my husband to change.  This is ALL ABOUT ME and how I want to intentionally live as my husbands wife.  It's about how I want ME to be.   You see, too many times we think only about the things that our spouse needs to do to make our marriages better.  We live in default mode just floating through our life and our marriage reacting to life and our spouse as 'things' happen with no plan of action.  What we need to ask ourselves is :

What could happen in my marriage,
what could happen in me,
if I would live life intentionally?

     Now you may ask "What do you mean by living life intentionally?"  Well, as my pastor says, I'm glad you asked.  Living intentionally means deciding in advance about your destination and setting out a plan, a road map to getting there. Living intentionally in your marriage would mean figuring out who you want to be as a spouse (your destination) and then setting out a plan, a road map to getting there. (writing a marriage purpose statement for yourself.)

     Before sitting down and working on my marriage purpose statement I wrote down what I would want my husband to say about me at my funeral.  By doing this I found out what things were most important to me to be known by.  This really helped me to understand how important it was to me that my husband see me as faithful and a woman of integrity.  It was important that my husband know that I think and speak highly of him, that I love and celebrate him with all my heart.  I don't know if I'm done with my statement yet but I'm going to share it below in hopes that I can encourage others to do the same.

My Marriage Purpose Statement

In the faithfulness of my heart I hold you alone.
In the integrity of my walk I won't leave your side.
In my priorities I set you above all others.
For you are mine and I am yours forever.

With honorable speech I will speak your name.
With Godly submission I will follow as you lead.
With joyful celebration I will truly celebrate you.
For you are mine and I am yours forever.

If you fall I will lift you up.
If you weep I will comfort you.
If you have needs I will fill them.
For you are mine and I am yours forever.

After God and HIM alone I give myself to you
wholeheartedly holding and reserving nothing.
For you are mine and I want no other...
yes, I am yours forever.

2 awesome comments:

  1. Beautiful thoughts on your marriage and very transparent. Blessings, Dottie

    1. I spent from February through early June fighting recurrent pneumonia so I'm sorry I haven't seen your comment till now. Thank you for your kind words!


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